Its been a while since I have written anything substantle on here, not sure if anyone can be bothered but its actually pretty mental!
It is absurd the things we hold onto so that people can identify us to a personality. The idea that we are living and being observed as what we think is correct to us, or pleasing to other people.
Some times I wish I was able to let go of my self a little more and do things that I consider incorrect, not incorrect in a right or wrong sense of the word but incorrect in the way that I consider certain things incorrect to my particular way of life.
On my way back to my accommodation this morning I saw two guys I have spent some time with growing up and another guy that I know informally through association of other people I grew up with. We started talking about the time we had spent in Bali and they proceeded to tell me stories of things they have experienced since they have been here, things I would never consider doing, these things were not necessarily things I want to do or would recommend to other but rather things I wish I could experience, hence let go of myself and become something else briefly in the name of life experience and having something else outside of the normal mundane stories to tell when i return home. With in the first two minutes of talking to these three. One had been to the doctor due to drug abuse and did not remember his first three days here, the second had been arrested for not wearing a helmet thrown in a questioning box and almost not let out. The third and most amazing story came about because one of the guys purchased an other wise legal substance in this country, he was just unlucky enough to purchase it off the wrong person. He ended up being arrested taken to the station and locked up, this then led him to an ATM where he had AK's stuck in his back and was instructed to withdraw as much money as he could get out of his account.
Before I left I organized an international drivers licence so I would not have problems with police. I made sure the guy I got my motor bike off gave me a decent helmet so I would have at least some kind of protection in the unfortunate case of an accident. And as for first of all, taking drugs it is not something I can ever see myself doing. I am not really sure if this is because I am against them or if it is just something that over the last 24 years I have drilled into myself and it is now part of my "personality". As for buying them in Bali off some seedy guy in the street, well that is something I would never ever consider doing. However I say this but at the same time the thought of being alright, although somewhat poorer after having been arrested and having unnecessarily large guns shoved in your back is more than appealing to me. I am not sure if it is normal to be, through lack of a better word jealous of this young man for having had this happen to him. But it is something that intrigues me, although nothing I would ever consider doing will ever lead me to this point.